How to Increase Your Confidence
To become more confident and achieve your goals, you must be able to persevere and overcome adversity, and failure. Abraham Lincoln lost 8 elections before winning the Presidency 2 times, Thomas Edison failed 100's of times, and Albert Einstein failed his college entrance exam. Successful people of all backgrounds have encountered adversity, and faced fear. They believed in themselves, conquered their fears, and realized their primary objectives. They ignored the negative voices of experts, friends, relatives, and coaches. They all possessed an inner drive of resilience, self confidence and an unrelenting laser focus to persevere.
Fear of Failure / Fear of Success
To build self-confidence we must first conquer fear of failure. Fear of failure affects everyone. It's what you do with that emotion immediately after it rears its' head that matters. You need to override that feeling and reframe it. Eliminate the negative words, and literally take a few deep breaths and start from 'right now'. Fear of failure is simply fear of the unknown and a lack of information of what you are pursuing. Learn as much as you can, but don't succumb to paralysis by analysis. Utilize the fear as a learning tool to get you closer to your goal. Reframe it to your benefit and as a learning experience for next time. Say to yourself "There's nothing to fear I can handle this", and if failure occurs -"I've just learned what doesn't work, next time I'll do better". As a personal development coach I encourage everyone to 'Take Action' 'Action first, then comes confidence.'
There's also something that is rarely talked about and that is fear of success. Stay with me on this. Fear of success is real and can be insidious because its' subconscious. Your own internal defense mechanisms, and perhaps faulty rationalizations have taken over your mind. Maybe subconsciously, you don't want to succeed because you might lose your current friends or have to step out of your comfort zone. Perhaps you fear you might not live up to your own hype (imposter syndrome) or be able to handle the new responsibilities. Sit quietly, by yourself, and answer some profound questions such as 'what am I really afraid of?' You need to become self-aware of your inner negative mindset, and self-talk. Override and replace them with positive, inspiring, motivating thoughts of what you were meant to be, and what you truly want to accomplish.
I utilized visualization constantly as a player. Literally seeing a pitch coming in, and hitting a line drive in the gap. Olympic skiers clearly visualize themselves at the bottom of a hill having completed a perfect slalom run. Always begin with the end in mind. Utilize your minds' eye, and 'see' the results you desire clearly. See the movie in your head, in detail. Repeat it as needed, and believe it will happen. Reframe your thoughts, beliefs, your mindset, and physiology. Take deep breaths, square your shoulders, chest out. Eliminate all negative thoughts and replace them with positive affirmations. 'See' a successful end. Keep repeating that visual in your mind anytime a negative thought or doubt surfaces.
Some of life's' greatest breakthroughs and accomplishments have come just after someone's greatest adversity, or failure. The Wright brothers were bicycle repairmen before they invented the airplane! You must conquer adversity, eliminate the negativism in your environments and social media.
Believe in yourself, work hard and stick to it. Surround yourself with positive people that will support and encourage you. Stay away from naysayers, half of them don't know what they're talking about, and the other half may not want you to succeed. That's a harsh statement, unfortunately those people do exist.
Inspiration and Motivation
I often read quotes, and biographies of life's greatest thinkers and their accomplishments. It folds time and great knowledge into a few pages. It also inspires me to know that our minds have infinite capabilities. Find your own avenue for inspiration and motivation. It has to come from within you. Something that moves you. Face your fears, conquer adversity, build your
self-confidence, and enjoy the ride.
Take responsibility for your own life. Trust your judgement, and your decisions. Ask yourself "What if it Works" Life's a one-way street, and like a milk carton, we all have an expiration date. The difference is, the milk carton knows its' date, we d !
"Swing for the Stars" Danny Garcia