How to Increase Your Confidence
To become more confident and achieve your goals, you must be able to persevere and overcome adversity, and failure. Abraham Lincoln lost 8 elections before winning the Presidency 2 times, Thomas Edison failed 100's of times, and Albert Einstein failed his college entrance exam. Successful people of all backgrounds have encountered adversity, and faced fear. They believed in themselves, conquered their fears, and realized their dreams. They ignored the negative voices of friends, relatives, and coaches. They all possessed an inner drive of resilience, self confidence and an unrelenting focus to persevere and succeed.
Fear of Failure / Fear of Success
To begin your journey in building self-confidence we must first conquer fear of failure. Fear of failure affects everyone. It's what you do with that emotion immediately after it rears its' head that matters. You need to override that feeling and reframe it. Eliminate the negative words, and literally take a few deep breaths and start from 'right now'. Fear of failure is simply fear of the unknown and a lack of information of what you are pursuing. Learn as much as you can, but don't succumb to paralysis by analysis. Utilize the fear as a learning tool to get you closer to your goal. Reframe it to your benefit and as a learning experience for next time. Saying to yourself "There's nothing to fear I can handle this", and if failure occurs -"I've just learned what doesn't work, next time I'll do better". As a personal life coach I encourage everyone to 'Take Action' 'Action first, then comes confidence.'
There's also something that is rarely talked about and that is fear of success. Stay with me on this. Fear of success is real and can be insidious because its' subconscious. Your own internal defense mechanisms, and perhaps faulty rationalizations have taken over your mind. Maybe subconsciously, you don't want to succeed because you might lose your current friends. Or you fear you might not live up to your own hype. Perhaps you fear that being successful might force you to live a different lifestyle that you're currently comfortable with, or be more popular with people and have to deal with all the new attention your garnering. Maybe more social invitations, which you fear, or more money which terrifies you. Sit quietly, by yourself, and answer some profound questions such as 'what am I really afraid of?' Hopefully you're already thinking differently. You need to become self-aware of your inner negative mindset, and self-talk. Override and replace them with positive, inspiring, motivating thoughts of what you were meant to be, and what you want to accomplish.
As a former pro ballplayer I utilized visualization constantly. Literally seeing a pitch coming in, and hitting a line drive in the gap. Olympic skiers clearly visualize themselves at the bottom of a hill having completed a perfect slalom run. Always begin with the end in mind. Utilize your minds' eye, and 'see' the results you desire clearly. See the movie in your head, in detail. Repeat that movie in your head as needed, and believe it will happen. Reframe your thoughts, beliefs, your mindset, and physiology. Take deep breaths, square your shoulders, chest out. Eliminate all negative thoughts and replace them with positive affirmations. 'See' a successful end. Keep repeating that visual anytime a negative thought or doubt surfaces.
Some of life's' greatest breakthroughs and accomplishments have come just after someone's greatest adversity, or failure. Lucille Ball, Lincoln, Edison, Einstein, did you know the Wright brothers were bicycle repairmen before they invented the airplane.
Believe in yourself, work hard and stick to it. Surround yourself with positive people that will support and encourage you. Stay away from naysayers, half of them don't know what they're talking about, and the other half may not want you to succeed (you might make them look bad). It's a harsh statement I know, unfortunately, those people exist.
Inspiration and Motivation
I often read quotes, and biographies of life's greatest thinkers and their accomplishments. It folds great knowledge into a few pages. It also inspires me to believe and know that our minds have infinite capabilities. Find your own avenue for inspiration and motivation. It has to come from within you. Something that moves you. Conquer fear, and build your confidence.
In conclusion, become self-aware, and take responsibility for your own life. Trust your judgement, and your decisions. It's a one-way street, and like a milk carton, we all have an expiration date. The difference is, the milk carton knows its' date, we d !
"Swing for the Stars" Danny Garcia